Wednesday, February 11, 2015

How to Vaccinate Yourself Against Friends and Family

Right now our Facebooks are heavily wrought with vaccination talk, whether pro-vax or anti-vax.

The good news is that as a result, a new vaccination is on the market now, and it can safely protect you against pesky excess relationships with friends and family.



It's an expensive and busy time in our society; we have so little time and money to nurture relationships with friends and family.  And there are all those birthday presents and Christmas cards you have to deal with, and that shit ain't free!  But who wants to deal with awkward things like drifting apart naturally or dropping excess relationships formally?

If you are feeling bogged down by all these relationships, I have good news for you. Now you can vaccinate yourself against excess friends and family.  Wait, don't be scared.

Here is some more info on this vaccination:

- It's 100% Free
- It's quick and easy
- So far thousands upon thousands of people have taken this vaccine and it has resulted in ZERO vaccine injuries (NO LIE)
- It's physically painless and requires no needle
- Zero adjuvants are present in this vaccine
- It can be done from your own home, or even your phone
- This vaccine will work no matter what your opinion is on vaccines!!! (BEST)
- IT WORKS!

Here's how you vaccinate yourself:

1.  Post any current blog entry about vaccines.
2.  Post any current graphic or "e-card" image about vaccines.

Repeat steps 1 and 2, as often as possible. Preferably dozens of times a day.

Not working quickly enough? Still have too many relationships to worry about?

You may need a booster.

Here's how the booster works:

1. Create two custom friends lists on your Facebook.
2. Put all the Anti-Vax friends and family in one list. Put all the Pro-Vax friends in another list.
3. Post all pro-vax images and links so that ONLY your anti-vax friends can see them.
4. Post all anti-vax images and links so that ONLY your pro-vax friends can see them.

Voila!

You didn't like your sister that much anyway. You can thank me later.


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