Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Dora the Explorer Sucks, Or How My 4-Year-Old Learned to Pickpocket

About 5 years ago I saw an episode of Dora the Explorer, and the map song drove me to insanity within about 7 seconds.  No map needs to be told that it is a map over and over and over again, in my humble opinion.  Narcissism, much?

I swore to myself that I would never let a child of mine watch Dora. I would not be subject to the grating song of a self-validating map in my own home.

At 4pm every day, Aias is allowed to watch a few shows if he wants. Usually he wants. 

Normally he watches My Little Pony or Curious George, which I can tolerate.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago.

4pm arrives.  We scroll through Netflix.  Aias asks to watch Dora.  Whatever, I thought, maybe he will learn Spanish. HOW BAD COULD IT BE, RIGHT?

I'm gonna teach your kids to steal!
BAD. VERY BAD. And no, he did not learn Spanish. Not a word of it.  You know what he learned about?

"Swiping"

Yes, swiping.  Apparently the show has a foxlike thing that likes to "swipe" things. 

So while he could have been learning Spanish, or about navigation, NOPE, instead he learned about freaking stealing.

Dora the Explorer doesn't glorify stealing, and Swiper is clearly an antagonist within the context of the show, and the moral of the story is that swiping is "bad," but apparently this doesn't matter all that much with kids.

About 8 episodes total over the course of a week, and I have pulled the plug on Dora, but the swiping continues.

Now my 4-year-old prides himself in being able to carefully and effectively pickpocket, and today he grabbed a reusable coffee cup from Starbucks, brought it to the counter, and told the cashier he was going to "swipe" it.

Maybe the next show I will have him watch on Netflix will be Orange is the New Black, so he can see what happens to people that swipe.

FML.

DISLIKE!



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