Thursday, April 18, 2013

Jane's Mom Doesn't Love Her

We waited a long time for Aias to be able to talk, and once he began to form thoughts and sentences verbally, we were ecstatic. Of course, there are times when Aias has really left us red in the face from things he's said to people.

I met a nice senior lady today while Aias was at preschool and she told me a hilarious story about her own daughter that left her red in the face for years.  It was so funny, I asked her if I could blog about it, and she said of course!

When my kids were growing up, we lived in the suburbs.  My husband worked a 9-5 desk job and I stayed home. I like to think I did a good job of keeping our house neat and tidy, but my top priority was always spending time with my son Andrew and my daughter, Amy.  After school and on the weekends, we all played together as a family.  We built forts, we gardened, we climbed trees, we did science experiments.  If there was anything the kids were curious about, I did my best to find an activity that could answer their questions.  Consequently, there were days when the dishes sat in the sink until the kids went to bed.  The house was sanitary, and it wasn't an embarrassment, but it definitely looked "lived in.  Because we didn't have two incomes, we had one car and modest furniture.  This was around the time when many families started having 2 incomes because both the mother and father worked. While I was trained to be a teacher, I wanted to stay home with my kids. 
When Amy was about 9 she started spending time outside of school with other girls. Some weekends she would have a friend over to our home, and other weekends she'd spend time at a friends home.  All of Amy's friends just happened to be kids whose parents both worked. They all lived in bigger houses than us, had nicer cars, and presumably nicer furniture.  Apparently a few of them even had maids.  She started asking questions about why other family's had nicer this or nicer that, and while I always responded "well, because X's mother works as well, and I stay home to be with you kids."  I could tell it bothered Amy a bit, but she never seemed super upset about it.

One Sunday night after an incredibly busy and frustrating day (unrelated to my children), Amy asked me why her friend Jane's house was so much more clean and tidy than ours. In a sarcastic tone I said "I guess because Jane's mom doesn't love her and would rather clean than spend time with her."  Amy said "Ah, I see." Of  course, I wasn't really thinking and didn't mean it, but it was a knee-jerk response to what I considered to be a criticism to our family and my choice of career. I figured that would be the end of it.

A few days later, I received a call from Amy's teacher, asking me to come in to talk to her about Amy.  Apparently Amy had told her friend Jane that her mom didn't love her and would rather clean than spend time with her.  Jane was very upset to hear this, went home and told her mom, and her mom called Amy's teacher in an outrage. It was incredibly embarrassing. To top it off, Amy and Jane were friends straight through college so I ran into her parents all the time and I never stopped feeling embarassed about it!

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