Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Lists: Hilarious and Disturbing Search Terms That Have Led People to My Blog

Perhaps those of you without blogs don't know this, but the blogger stats page gives bloggers quite a bit of information about who is reading their blog.  In addition to that, I use Google Analytics, which gives me even more information.  Now, I don't know people's IP addresses or who specifically is looking at my blog, but I do know what search terms they used in Google to get here and it's one of my favorite things to look at (seriously, I have no idea who you are, just where you are from and how you get here).  Every few days I take a peek at the search terms and while lots of them are to be expected or are just plain boring, some of them are hilarious or disturbing.  There are hundreds and hundreds but are some common ones:

Unusual, Hilarious, and/or Seemingly Random Search Terms
First I'll show you some of the unusual, hilarious, and/or seemingly random search terms.  What I find especially funny about these is that multiple people have searched these terms or at least the same people have used these terms multiple times to get back to the blog.

"porno pizza de chorizo" (multiple times... what?)
"why dots balloons"
"shiny floors autism children" (Upon further though, I don't really think this one is strange, but it's unique for sure)
"aias facebook hair show"
"can gender variance cause autism?"
"crossdressed grandpa breastfed babies" (This is like.. one of my personal favorites ever)
"im pregnant and i just drank water with soap accidently [sic]"
"monkey backpack leashes teens"
"presentation of banana"
"udon ok for toddler?"
"vancouver 2011 hockey riot breasts"
"back of head bedhead pictures"
"denounce vancouver riots morons"
"ex girlfriend pictures + angie"
"sophie marie afternoon delight"

Disturbing Search Terms 
The following are almost deeply disturbing to me for two reasons. First, because clearly people go online to look for kiddie porn.  I obviously knew this, but this really makes it feel close to home. Second, these people are ending up on my blog where I have photos of my child. It's for this reason that you won't see naked photos of Aias on this blog, ever. At least if I ever put them, it would be rare and untagged. Scary stuff, right?

"toddlers who enjoy sex"
"www. children sex dot com"
"www.young-kids sex"
"young sex kid my doktor"
"young kids sex "
"transgender child pics"

(I want to add to this part, I realize that copying these terms may get me more negative pervy pedo traffic... if you are here because of that SEEK HELP!)

Shamefully Spelled Search Terms
"talking to toddles about their sexulaity"
"tesigrity poppisickle projct"
"dollar giant presants"
"pinyada cake"

A Special Message to a Search Term User
To the person who quite regularly gets to my blog by typing "i'm sad stay at home mom," please contact me. We can chat.  No one should be sad and feeling alone.  All sorts of hugs to you.  Additional reminder, I have NO IDEA who you are.

The Queen of All Search Terms
Finally in case you were curious... the most common search term people use to find my blog is:

"18 week ultrasound"

For some reason this post here is the most popular post on here, with just under 4,000 unique views since April 14th:


Every day I see people coming to that page by the hundreds and some aren't unique users so they are people who have viewed it before.  I keep telling myself not to be creeped out by that.  It's just pregnant women looking at it for comparison, and not pervy men looking for pregnant woman pics to jerk off to.  Bloggers can't afford to be shy...

FELLOW BLOGGERS:  When you are done reading this post, "like" the post on Facebook, leave a comment, and then post your OWN similar post! I want to see what other fun or creepy search terms people have in their stats logs!

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