Tuesday, April 26, 2011

What Would Your Glee "Born This Way" T-Shirt Say?

Spoiler warning if that kind of thing bothers you and you haven't seen the most recent episode of Glee. You've been warned!



Tonight on what I think was probably an extra long episode of Glee, they showed the cast of Glee wearing white shirts with words across their chests representing the aspect of themselves they were most ashamed of.   They tackled the issue of loving yourself versus being ashamed of who you are, and the catalyst they used to discuss it was a potential nose job for Rachel.   While I think the episode was a little bit cheesy (you know, in an endearing way), it did get me thinking.  I wish I had seen such an episode when I was growing up.

I personally am sensitive about quite a few aspects of my physical self.  First there's my crooked teeth, which I've been told are charming, but who is going to tell you your teeth are awful?  Second there's my "butt chin" which I got from my dad's side (I chuckled a bit at that part of the episode where Will revealed his shirt).  Then of course there's my weight which I've struggled with since I was a child. I've been pretty vocal about these things, but I think it's mostly because I feel like they are somewhat subjective.  But now I'll let you in on a secret I've told very few people; my number one most horrible and hated physical feature: My NOSE.

When I was in the the 6th grade, a kid whose name I'll never forget* said to me "You are hot, but you have a big nose." I was 12 years old.  Since that moment, there hasn't been a single day of my life where I haven't tried to hide my nose.  From that day forward I would take extreme measures to make sure my profile was visible to as few people as possible.  Wherever I was, I'd make every possible effort to sit in a spot where my profile would be hidden.   I would pick back corner desks in my classes at school.  I would try to face as many people as possible when I was talking to them. I would sit with my hand on my face to prevent people from seeing my profile at all.  I'd wear my hair down so I could pull my hair in front of my nose from the side.  If someone had a camera, I was looking at it so that it wouldn't somehow go off and take a picture of me from the side.  If someone had a picture of me, I'd immediately look at my nose in the picture.  When I edit my own photos of myself, the nose angle in the pic is the determining factor in the photo's fate.  My nose looks awful? Deleted.  I told myself that someday I'd get a nose job.  I'd look at every person's nose I could, and immediately size it up. Was it bigger than mine? Was it bumpier? Was it more upturned? Was it beautiful? Was it like mine? Is it the kind of nose I'd want to have should I someday get the coveted nose job?  Even conversations about noses made me horribly uncomfortable, for fear that someone would jokingly mention something about my own huge nose.  If something like that had happened, surely I would never recover, right?

Before that kid said something about my nose, I don't think I had ever given my nose the slightest thought.  All it took was that one comment and BOOM, 28 years later I'm still feeling like the PBS symbol.
Check out the schnoz on this guy!
I've had a few positive nose moments in my life, including the first time I ever realized that big noses could be beautiful.  This realization I attribute to one of the coolest people I've ever met (though he probably doesn't know he is) named Raf, who I shared a few classes with in University.  There was a really beautiful girl in our Spanish class and while pretty much everything about her was model perfect, she had the biggest nose I had ever seen.  For some reason this made me mentally write her off as not beautiful.  One day Raf said to me, "MAN that girl is so hot" and I responded with, "Are you kidding me? Look at her nose!" And Raf said to me, "That nose seals the deal!"  I was shocked, as seriously in my 20 years I had never heard of a non upturned nose being beautiful (this was Pre-Gaga, give me a break).  My second positive nose experience was getting my nose pierced; which I did first and foremost to help myself become more comfortable with my long hated nose and secondly to annoy my extremely conservative and closed minded in-laws.

A nose piercing is born

Apologies to the needle phobic...
So now I'm going to post something I couldn't have been paid to post for most of my life: a picture of my dreaded profile. My huge nose in all it's glory (bonus shots of my crooked canines and my butt chin included at no additional cost).  This is my face.  It's the face I've always had, and the face I was  born with.  I'm too phobic of voluntary surgery to do anything about it, so it's the one I'll have for the rest of my years.  After 28 years of having it, I think I'm finally ready to make peace.

Here you have it, folks!

So now that I"m done rambling about my own insecurities, I want to ask you what your Glee "Born This Way" T-shirt would say? I think you can probably guess what mind would say.

* I'd like to add that since then I've creeped that guy on Facebook, and though I never noticed it in school, he has one of the biggest noses I've ever seen! I guess he was just drawing attention to mine so people wouldn't notice his?  Who "nose" heh ;)




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3 comments:

  1. Everything. You can guess who I am.

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  2. For what it's worth, while I can certainly relate with your nose insecurities, I don't think your nose is big at all. I think it's adorable.

    My biggest insecurity doesn't come from a physical attribute (although, I certainly have those). My biggest insecurity is singing and dancing. I mean, I can sing in a chorus just fine, but I can not bring myself to sing or dance in a manner that would call attention to me. My husband had to practically beg me to dance with him at our own wedding. The thought of karaoke will actually make me shake with anxiety, and I have been brought to tears more than once at the suggestion of doing either of these in public. I have been told I have a very pretty voice (I can't dance to save my life, hah), but even my husband doesn't get to hear it very often. I can let myself go for my kids, but only if no one else is listening.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I was expecting a Gonzo nose lol. I scrolled down and thought "What the hell is this? Her nose is smaller than mine!" XD

    ReplyDelete

I've adopted the same commenting policy as seen here at Off Beat Mama (http://offbeatmama.com/about/comments). I won't post comments if they strike me as attacking, judgmental, rude, or unproductive. In general if you are willing to put your name to something, I'll post it, but remember to keep your words sweet, because someday you may have to eat them.